Christmas and the turn of the year are just around the corner, the days are getting shorter, it’s getting colder and colder outside and cosiness is making its mark. Usually a time of hope. We are motivated to tackle new challenges and goals in the new year. Filled with anticipation, we can’t wait to get started.
But after almost two years of the pandemic, many are slowly running out of breath. Instead of hope, a feeling of powerlessness is spreading.
We feel tired and exhausted, because in these times it often seems like it doesn’t matter what we do, we can’t make a difference anyway. Perhaps your job, family, social life or physical and mental health are suffering from the current situation.
Hopelessness is rampant and colors our mood a rainy gray to match the season. Everything seems kind of pointless.
But why is hope so important and how can we overcome our hopelessness?
If the external circumstances of our life change in a fundamentally negative way, our first reaction is often resistance.
We fight against what is happening, we suppress it, don’t want to admit it. We are trying desperately to restore the old status quo and secretly refuse to accept the new reality.
We feel tired and exhausted and yet we continue with our busyness, because many are secretly afraid of pausing. Because the moment we pause in our fight against something and give up our resistance, there is space for a real confrontation with the situation. This can be scary because suddenly all those feelings that we were trying to escape from roll in: sadness, anger, helplessness, disappointment etc..
Not only is it okay to feel all of this, it’s important to give your feelings space to live through them, because that’s the only way you can let them go in the end.
Those who allow their feelings and live through them know better what they need, what is good for them and what is not.
With our GooodNews we regularly provide you with tips and tricks for more mental well-being in your everyday life.
Do you remember moments in your life when you gave up after a long fight? And phrases like these went through your head:
- Then that’s the way it is now
- I’ll just leave it now, I don’t want to anymore
- I’ve done everything, it’s time to give up
At first glance, this may sound rather negative, but sometimes it is exactly the opposite. It can even be a real relief.
Because as soon as we give up the fight and start to accept all those situations that we cannot change, new doors open for us.
Acceptance helps us climb out of our hopelessness hole .
As soon as we stop fighting tensely for something that we cannot change, our tunnel vision widens and suddenly we see new possibilities, have new ideas and inspirations.
In acceptance and bonding therapy one also speaks of “ creative hopelessness ”. This may sound paradoxical at first, but makes sense at second glance. Anyone who learns to accept negative events that are beyond their control and recognizes that previous problem-solving strategies have not worked makes room for something new.
The creative process is the search for new ideas, solutions, wishes or ways.
As soon as we have found new things that excite us, that we strive for, that we can make a difference in, hope often returns and the feeling of powerlessness disappears.
Accepting something does not mean surrendering to your fate and not wanting to move anything anymore.
Hope as a reaction to the unknown
How do you react to the unknown, the unpredictable in life?
How do you behave in situations characterized by uncertainty?
Are you more curious and hopeful and trusting in yourself? Or do you instead feel powerless and filled with fear?
Our response to all those situations largely determines how we feel and act.
Why are some in such situations rather hopeful, while others have long since given up hope?
A variety of factors come into play here, one of which is our locus of control . Do we believe that control is outside of us or within ourselves?
In technical terms we speak of internal and external control .
|Internal control||External Control|
|The belief that you can make a difference with your own actions and decisions.||The belief that control is beyond our control. Own decisions and work make no difference.|
|“I make things happen”||“things happen to me”|
|“I can”||“I can not”|
|More likely to take responsibility for his mistakes||Doesn’t take responsibility for his mistakes|
So if you have an external locus of control, you may find it harder to hope. He sees himself at the mercy of his fate, so to speak, over which he has no influence.
This seems to be particularly present at the moment, as the pandemic confronts us with measures that intervene deeply in our lives, but over which we often have no influence.
If we focus too much on these external factors, it’s easy to lose hope. Therefore, it is particularly important right now to direct your focus more towards internal control.
Our reaction to external events is in our hands. We can still influence how our lives and our emotional world are shaped.
The more we become aware of this power, the more we benefit from a newly gained feeling of inner security. We find security within ourselves instead of looking for it outside. We begin to stop seeing ourselves as victims of external circumstances and focus more on the things we can actively shape.
Don’t just read it, do it! 🙌🏽
Would you like to put what you have read into practice together with others? Are you looking for people for meaningful conversations and experiences that are good for you? Then you can now easily post and find GooodTalks and GooodExperiences on goood.life.
The power of hope
Hope gives us motivation and the feeling that our actions and the things in our lives have meaning.
Those who have hope believe that they have opportunities, that things can change for the better.
Consequently, he acts differently from those who have already given up hope. Because those who no longer hope often give up without even trying and see their negative thoughts confirmed.
Jerome Groopman showed in studies that our beliefs and our expectations during an illness have an influence on our nervous system. And both faith and our expectations are important elements of hope.
Who is hopeful…
- Does not see himself as a victim and is more willing to act and improve his situation for the better
- often recovers faster from illness or even surgery and has better defenses
- is more positive about the future
In short, hope is healthy for body and soul. It is our engine, our drive to act and therefore should not be underestimated in its importance.
So instead of giving in to hopelessness, it is all the more important, especially in difficult times, to look to the future with hope.
Of course, it can be particularly challenging to find your hope again, especially in difficult times. That’s why we’ve put together a number of mental health platforms where you can find support. Among other things, they offer psychological advice and support via video calls or chat.
You will also find an overview of the psychotherapists in your region who offer video consultations .
Christmas and the turn of the year are just around the corner, the days are getting shorter, it’s getting colder and colder outside and cosiness is making its mark. Usually a time of hope. But after almost two years of #pandemic, many are slowly running out of breath. Instead of hope, a feeling of powerlessness is spreading. We feel tired and exhausted, because in these times it often seems like it doesn’t matter what we do, we can’t make a difference anyway.
But why is hope so important and how can we overcome our hopelessness?
#hope #positivepsychology #mentalhealth #mentalhealth #christmas #turn of the year #covid19 #lockdown #feelings
Christmas and the turn of the year are just around the corner. Usually a time of hope. But after almost two years of the pandemic, many are slowly running out of breath. Instead of hope, a feeling of powerlessness is spreading. But why is hope so important and how can we overcome our hopelessness?